Day IV

January 18, 2010
Manzanares, Spain

“You are so profoundly sad.”
“You’re wrong. I’m grateful.”


There are songs in all of our playlists that are on our side.
I’m talking about the ones that helped you through the break ups and the ones that will always be there to help you remember the very very best times. They’re our best friends. And we ALL have them. Someone once told me that my song saved him from committing suicide. This was one of the greatest things that I could have been told in my life. Could MY music, from MY brain have saved someone else’s life?

Or maybe it’s not my music. Maybe it’s his, because that song is always there for him. Just like “Vampire”, “Tonight, Tonight”, “Sunshine on my Shoulders”, and “Family Tree” are on my side.

Last night Ricky and I went walking around the empty streets of Manzanales, looking for an internet connection so I could let my parents know that i’m still alive. When we got back, I had a glass of wine, and sat alone for a while in the main room of the apartment. “Family Tree” by Tv on the Radio came on. I remember thinking this moment-- being alone in spain with a familiar, friendly song on my side, will always be locked forever in my mind. The only noise from outside of the apartment was the local church bell ringing 4 times every 15 minutes.

How could I be so lucky?

Well, we drank, we listed off our personal goals for just about everything, we talked of friends, of lovers, of music, of memories between and apart, and just shot the shit. How could I be so lucky to have taken time off after school to go meet my friend in a secluded village in spain with the purpose of finishing my album?

I always say it, but you’re here with me, and I hope that I am there with you. You travel with me wherever I go. Sometimes I don’t even WANT you here, but you are. I know it gets cramped up there in my head, but I’ll try and make it as comfortable as i can. After all...

...we’ll be traveling for a while.