remember?

Mountain moon, make me more

pretend like you're being followed
you warm yellow heart
you peterpan complex
let's long live here

let's watch them whisper to each other
let's be the ingredients for blanket wraps
let's be suburban rhythm for a town without tempo
let's be superb grown people
part of our own dogpack
living our own (stunted) dog years

with our ashtrays full of wool
and our bottles conveniently (?) empty before work

Let's be really really really really really real
Speak through everything
Voice our thoughts through our shoes
through our hair
through our words
through our handshakes

Let's see our enemies
Murder their confidence
Let's rejoice and cheer for the proud 86!
The 1986!
The pisces
The wander'd
among men and women both
Of that, of them, of us, etc.

Long live there
Long live here.

love only hurts when it leaves you

what makes me nervy?

dead ancestors. it is believed that they watch over us, but for some reason, I feel as though they know my thoughts. Why i do the things that I do, and can judge me thoroughly. This makes me nervvy.

i'm a drunken hearted man, and she's the cause of it all

oh hell yezzz, eric dolphy

I will let it slide if you let me slide every now and every then

Grandchild - A Song to Die To (live) from Bob Peck on Vimeo.

i am not confined between my hat and my boots

negative Z's

Bags under my eyes. fuzzballs still attached to my face at work. Lack of energy or motivation.

Every morning I go through a routine in my head of waking up and slowly realizing that the memories that I have were just dreams. That's the only way that I know that I slept that night. I can only wonder why i've been so tired. I should quit drinking. I should quit thinking. I should quit feeling.

Wow wow now you're too far. I'd just stick with the quit drinking bit.

Tonight we will play at the Ginger Man. I've just been told that we have an hour set. This means I can pull out some sentimental favorites to promote my sweating that I do from my make-believe-emotional pores. After all-- papa always said that if you don't sweat once a day, you're not working hard enough.

Here is a tentative idea for the set list tonight:

1. Shout!
2. Make me high
3. Magic Things
4. I know
5. Ohm
6. Favorite Stuff/Strawberry Jam
7. Suzy Anna
8. A Song to Die to

skinny dippin'

I freak out when I see a car like yours spinning around my neighborhood.

My only problem in the past was not being able to see you because we were at work.

Because we're poor.

So we'd make money to spend it.

"What we do during the day, at night to be free."

But now I'm saving up.

And I freak out when I see your car spinning around places I go.

copy and paste for full effect

dontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitterdontbebitter

The storm will suck the pretty girls into the sky

we played connect the dots with our moles. you have rose constellations on your chest

do you hear what i hear?

Today I began a new tape on my recorder. The rules are the same:

1. Say anything that I feel.
2. NEVER record over ANYTHING.





Considering incorporation of this "Dual Voltage Panasonic" into the album tracks as segues. Although I would become completely vulnerable to every listener, the emotions of the album would be undeniably apparent.

big kiss,
-andy

holy shit

sometimes we walk together like we're in a three legged race

"God keeps special providence for children, clowns, and drunks."

-Mike the trucker from the Metro in NJ

Fried Chicken, 40 oz, and a shot contest

i'll fight

do you believe in wizards?

www.wizardacademy.org

Apparently there is a wizard academy located 40 minutes outside of Austin. At first I looked at the website and kind of laughed at the entire idea PLUS the shitty layout that the website had. You know, the whole-- i'm spiritual and a hippy at the same time type of thing. With that being said, the more and more that I read and researched the website, the more and more I realized how legit this place is. It mainly came to me when I saw the pictures. THEY HAVE STATUES. They have a LOT of land. It looks PRETTY. This place is more legit looking than Concordia was when that was around. It ranges in the "holy shit this thing is real" factor. I don't consider myself seeking a life within the witchcraft and wizardry realm (no pun intended), but if I were, I would most likely contact Chancellor Roy H. Williams.

"There is science behind every art."

“Every science begins as an art. We come upon it intuitively, study it to find the recurrent patterns, then create charts and systems to give us control over it.”
- Carl Morris, Florence, SC

My friend Carl has never attended Wizard Academy but he’s already figured out what we do here: we discover the science behind every art.

We investigate the languages of shape, color, symbol (metaphor,) music, proximity, radiance and phonemes. And then we teach our students to how to leverage these tools to move hearts and minds.

We’re rather a dangerous bunch.

Come. We'll watch the sun rise.

Roy H. Williams
Chancellor

you give yourself the love that you think you deserve

what freaks me out?

Arms. I keep wanting to write this down somewhere, but I haven't been around a piece of paper when it comes to me.

Arms, man. They freak me out. And I'll tell you why: Are there any moments when you're talking with someone and one of their arms looks warped on their body? Like not completely in proportion with the rest of the person. Or like when you can't really see where exactly the other arm IS? And for some reason in my mind when that happens, (oddly enough) I can't even picture what position it could possibly be in. This causes anxiety and makes me all nervvvy because I don't know what the arm is doing.

You know those jokes that people do where they make their shirt look as though they don't have an arm? Those jokes are the kind I don't like. I don't like that kind.

i DO, however, like arms in a general sense. They are practical and help out with life (obviously).

They just kind of, seriously, freak me out a little bit.

I have a plan. You will climb mountains, and I will sing for you. If we do this, how can we not be happy?

"I found a freckle that I didn't tell you about"

Tomorrow's show will be on 206 dunlap st. in south austin. We go on around 2:30 in the afternoon, but the party starts at 1. It's $5 to drink until midnight the entire day. Those playing with me will be-- Casey Sharpe, Dane Martin, Austen Miller, and Richard *Something*.

Come out! We're playing with Geography and Pastures. It'll be a rowdy experience. Let's all learn to live a little bit this weekend.

I will write a song that will make you want to run. Eye of the tiger, watch over me.

talking to an abyss

As I was walking down Houston St. two days ago, I saw a crazy person sitting on a bench and talking to an invisible person (1). He was probably homeless, but he was definitely crazy. I kept walking and thought about this for a while. Then I remembered as a child, I would have trouble praying. My father told me to put an empty chair in front of me and talk as if God was sitting in front of me in that chair (2). Shortly after I remembered this, I saw a man sitting in a cafe talking on his Blue Tooth (3).

Although each individual part can be justified as sanity, one questions whether or not this individual ACTUALLY is completely nuts. Check it:

1. in the first example, i'm sure the insane person could tell you that that person is standing there, and you should talk to him
2. in the second example, i would tell you that i was talking to the creator of the universe
3. in the third example, the business man could tell you that he was talking to his cousin in Ohio

Who's to say they're not right? Logic? If we were to determine that I am insane, talking to an empty chair (which is obviously not logical in itself because it's dealing with means of spirituality), not only would a christian argue against you, but would be OFFENDED by your logic. If we were to determine that the man on the blue tooth is, in fact, not talking to his cousin in Ohio, he would simply tell you he was because he "hears his voice".

Are cell phones and blue tooths technology's way to prove that physical communication is irrelevant? well, duh. But imagine if every-fucking-person had a blue tooth and talked on it all the time. We might all go back to stage 1 where the homeless man is. This could occur from simply the info dump on us as the age of communication continues more and more drastic.

Good morning tuesday. I'm taking a cute girl out to dinner tonight.

Don't wanna be lonely and I don't wanna leave you alone

Walker and I are a good team. New York is inspiring and re-energizing.

Today I went on a 5 hour long photo shoot in Brooklyn with Ryan Slack. If anyone is looking for a photographer who knows what they are doing and will brainstorm WITH you, save yourself some trouble and contact this guy. An AMAZING day yet again. God bless new york.


www.rslack.com

SHE'S A GOOD WITCH.

New York

Mein Fruend:



walking, writing, "chugging coffee", spending too much american currency with french and british acquaintances. my fingers are falling off from their intimate relationship with my guitar strings. I think that I do love it here. I think that I could not live here.

every time that I head to a new city, it happens- I change my interests and hobbies when I return to my favorite city (Austin, foo). I don't really know what these new interests will be, but i'm getting giddy wondering about it.

Upcoming Albums I Will Listen 2

David Byrne and Fatboy Slim: Here Lies Love [Todomundo/Nonesuch]
Dr. Dog: Shame, Shame [Anti-]
Jakob Dylan feat. Neko Case and Kelly Hogan: Women & Country [Columbia]
Jónsi: Go [XL]
Elliott Smith: Roman Candles [Kill Rock Stars] [remastered]
Braid: The Age of Octeen [Polyvinyl] [vinyl reissue]
Braid: Frankie Welfare Boy Age Five [Polyvinyl] [vinyl reissue]
Braid: I'm Afraid of Everything 7" [Polyvinyl] [vinyl reissue]
Braid: Movie Music Vol. 1 [Polyvinyl] [vinyl reissue]
Braid: Movie Music Vol. 2 [Polyvinyl] [vinyl reissue]
MGMT: Congratulations [Columbia]
The Tallest Man on Earth: The Wild Hunt [Dead Oceans]
Horse Feathers: Thistled Spring [Kill Rock Stars]
Broken Social Scene: Forgiveness Rock Record [Arts & Crafts] [U.S. release]
Mono: Holy Ground: NYC Live With the Wordless Music Orchestra [Wordless/Temporary Residence]
The National: High Violet [4AD]
LCD Soundsystem: This Is Happening [DFA/Parlophone]
The Smashing Pumpkins: Teargarden by Kaleidyscope 1: Songs for a Sailor [Rocket Science] [limited edition box set]
The Gaslight Anthem: American Slang [SideOneDummy]
Stars: The Five Ghosts [Soft Revolution/Vagrant]
Animal Collective: ODDSAC [DVD]
of Montreal: False Priest
Panda Bear: TOMBOY [Paw Tracks]



4-17 Vinyl Releases (AKA HOLY SHIT)
Bon Iver/Peter Gabriel: Split 7" [Jagjaguwar]
Bright Eyes: Fevers and Mirrors [Wichita]

Modest Mouse: The Moon and Antarctica [Sony] [10th anniversary vinyl reissue]
Cap'n Jazz: Analphabetapolothology [vinyl release] [Jade Tree]Animal Collective: ODDSAC [DVD]

Louisiana Woman

Trunken Branches Band

Tenlons Fort

I love this band. You should buy their album immediately.

I've had several friends die in the past 4 years. Scotty Johnsguard died of an unknown illness yesterday. Here's what I remember about him:

-we home schooled together
-he was incredible at science
-we wrote the script for a movie that was incredibly hilarious and obviously never created
-I beat him in chess and bragged to my friends about how I beat the "smartest homeschool kid at chess", but really he admitted to being a shitty chess player before the first pawn was moved
-he loved monty python and all that they did
-he could sing lower than i can
-he was always hilarious and always extremely eager to speak to anyone about anything
-we were on the robotics team together
-he wore high white socks, even when wearing shorts
-his mother was very sequential and awkwardly organized
-he, just like i ended up doing, went to the woodlands highschool to pursue interaction with normal people
-i witnessed his perverted stage in 8th and 9th grade where he would point out all of the naked pictures of adam and eve in church
-he laughed at anything remotely funny, but when he did, you felt confidence and that your joke was way funnier than it actually was
-he was very talented at the piano and composed a score for the movie "Karoshi", in which bandy, juan, and nathan played on

The last time that I saw him was at Baker Street in the woodlands. We were both drinking stout beers and had an hour long discussion about the brilliance of the soundtrack to The Dark Knight. That must have been about a year and a half ago.

I can firmly say, without any hint of hesitation, he was a good man.

apartments.

I hear the sound of my neighbor's alarm turning on at noon. I hear the whistling of an old man. I know he is old because I have seen him drive up in his motorcycle. I have seen the cacti in his window, and I have seen him avoid my neighbors with a very Steppenwolf-esque approach. I have never met him, but i like his personal translation of "old".

I have smiled at the 4, 5, 6 mexican children that live next door, and nodded at the overweight father who seems to work on his truck twice a week. Tuesdays and Sundays.

I have felt goose bumps when I realized a beautiful girl had been listening to me play guitar on my porch for the past...what? 20, 30 seconds? She was on her bike and winked at me, then rode off. I have played two more songs afterwards, louder than before, both internally and vocally hoping she would come back.

I have left the door open because of Spring, and I have smelt the cigarettes of my lower neighbors. I have cooked to make the smell leave the apartment, but secretly I smoke cigarettes whenever I can get a hold of one.

I have been living here for nine months. I have not changed my mind about you.

"i don't like to sing"

Do you think that people say "i don't like to sing" or "i'm uncomfortable singing" because they aren't forced into it? I mean people don't like to hear their own voice. If we weren't forced to talk in our society, would we want to talk?

The people that do sing a lot are people that have forced THEMSELVES to sing a lot. I know that I wanted to write songs. I don't believe that I was born with a good voice, I had to practice. I forced myself to learn how to sing because I wanted to be in the culture of music.

So in a culture, like many Asian cultures, where the language consists of (quite literally) hitting several pitches in order to convey a word, people don't feel uncomfortable. haha and they LOVE karaoke (don't pay attention to this sentence).

"So in the English language, we're syntactically restrained. We're just really, really structured. We have our defined subjective and objective, but for the Chinese it's switched around. Like you could say the same word but different pitches and it would mean a million things."- Justin

food to munch on with your brain,
-andy

I remember when I was a tyke hearing "congratulations! you won!" as an ad on the internet and trying convince my father that I indeed had.

Ages 3 +

long to do list to do to-day.

So i'm starting a band called Rude. or Rood. or something. Matt and I were listening to Texas Music Matters on KUT and were inspired. After the Beatles revolution started, a bunch of really shitty texas garage bands started up in the early 60's and did regional tours around the state. The scene was in Mcallen, Dallas, and Houston.

Basically it's like psychedelic punk. or something. Everything was based off 3 chords, and just being rowdy. Check it out:

http://texasmusicmatters.kut.org/2010/02/24/on-the-big-broadcast-texas-garage-rock/

I've had the bugs in my system and have been a sick for a while. Look at this pale-ass-face-with-bags-under-my-sick-eyes-,-bro.

Shitty Names for SXSW

Likable names:

* My Tiger My Timing
* Jazzus Lizard
* Summer Cats
* Hyperpotamus
* Videohippos
* Brasstronaut
* The Blow Waves
* Beans on Toast
* Yeti Lane
* Planet Parade
* The Belle Brigade
Japandroids
Autumn Owls
Carsick Cars
Dappled Cities
Diplomats of Solid Sound
Fighting With Wire
Serious Sam Barrett

Unlikable names:

* Reading Rainbow (TOO SOON)
* Oh No Ono
* Maybe It's Reno
* Grynch
* Gay Witch Abortion
* DD/MM/YYYY (COME ON)
* an horse
Everything Everything
The Ganjas
Goober and the Peas
John Dear Mowing Club
Kidz In Space
Parlovr
Peter Wolf Crier
Shit And Shine
The View (they're from Scotland, how could they have known?)
Zlam Dunk (hahahaha. i love them.)


(According to-- http://www.29-95.com/music/story/dumb-band-names-first-round-sxsw-2010-bands )

heavy boots.

melanoma?

I realized the other day that I make wishes at 11:11 more than I pray to Jesus.

sometimes when I walk around different shops or stores, I catch mannequins out of the corner of my eye. This is stressful for me because 50% of the time I believe it's a person trapped in glass.

Dino Bones

In celebration of single awareness day, I would like to present a Triceratops skull out of my dino bone collection

Leonard Cohen

inspires with his drooling spirit.

Townes Van Zandt-- Loretta

"There and Back Again-- A Hobbit's Holiday"

That's the title that Bilbo Baggins decided upon for his book about traveling. I've always thought it had a nice ring to it (obviously, because i've remembered it this long).

Right now i'm sitting in a hotel room in Fort Worth. My Grandmother died on Saturday, the day of Tyler's bachelor party in New Orleans. I cannot even begin to describe the issue that I had with toggling emotions on Saturday. Now it's a little bit better, but I just feel this overwhelming urge to sit in my room in Austin and do nothing. Where I've gone has been beyond eventful and memorable, but it's simply the in-between that gets to me. Drunken Train rides and driving in a car alone top the charts, but at some point, traveling feels physically taxing on your body.

But let's get beyond this complaining. Let's talk about things that gods talk about, because I practically was one in New Orleans.

We arrive. I feel very vulnerable and unsure about gambling. This was my mindset going into it. It continued until I saw that our hotel was, literally, across the street from Harrah's.




We walk into the hotel, and see that we're on the 24th floor. We walk down the hallway and notice the two LARGE glass doors at the end of the hallway. Yes. We bought the presidential suite. Yes, it was huge. Yes, we saw the whole city. Yes, we spent ZERO time there.

Our night was too concerned with bachelor party things:

-Mardi Gras
-Shots of tequilla
-Oysters (i know that's not too stereotypical, but knowing New Orleans and us, it makes sense)
-Strippers (duh.)
-Etc.

There are two sure things that will happen in every bachelor party:

1. You will have more fun than you have had in decades.
2. Your wallet is a white hole that pushes away all of your cash.

I am in debt from the casino (although not as bad as some), I understand why people go to strip clubs/drunkenly fell in love with a stripper (although not as badly as some), and I spent $200 in one night.

This means two things:

1. I had more fun than I i've had in decades.
2. I'm seeing the warnings of poverty.

Maybe it's a right of passage, maybe it's okay because it was New Orleans, maybe it's okay because it was the Super Bowl, but I feel wiser and older from this experience. Go to New Orleans.

*side note: why do I love lists so much?

As of right now, I need to go eat dinner with my three living relatives beyond my immediate family (one aunt, one uncle, one grandpa), and then go to a funeral. Love your life, live your life, love your lover. All of those combinations are temporary.


ciao,

wildest night of my life?

Mardi Gras + Superbowl fans + Best friend's bachelor party = my night in new orleans tomorrow.

For the majority of everyone everywhere:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InSn2BLDwfQ

Austin is RAINY. I can't stop listening to leonard cohen. I'm spreading myself too thin by seeing too many people in such a short time.


Regardless, watch this video of Fever Ray's acceptance speech:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymCP6zC_qJU&feature=player_embedded

Manzanares Music Scene

For the past two weeks, i've spent my time writing, exploring, and living spain. So far I've played 5 shows at the local middle school for their english lesson that day. I made them all sing the choruses of my songs, and taught them words that maybe i shouldn't have... (death star theme). This morning I played for the same class again. They requested songs that I wrote. This made me feel incredibly close to everyone everywhere. That warm orange ball of comfort.

I'm working on a video of all the clips that i've recorded while here, so i'll have some of me playing in class. Tomorrow i'm playing my first official show in Spain at the bar that we've been going to every night that we go out (Macondo). Although i'm only expecting there to be a very few amount of people there, whenever I told people about the show, they freaked out. I feel so much positivity here. If i spoke better spanish, i would and could live here.


So here's a miniature summary of my trip to valencia:









-australians
-birthdays
-hostels
-old, beautiful things
-2nd largest aquarium in the world
-accordions
-Mcdonalds serves beer???
-oranges
-american hip hop (and for once in my life being the best dancer)
-Jennifer...Jessica...?
-drunken train rides
-stares from sober eyes

daybreaker,
-andy

I just returned from Valencia. Pictures to come.

On wednesday, i'll be performing at Macondo at 10 for all the friends that i've met here in spain. Tomorrow morning i'll teach another class for the local middle school. These kids are el puta madre.


Ricky stumbled across this short film. It's great. Check it out:
http://struckthefilm.com/

I´m in Valencia right now trying to remember things (that´s why I´m here on this computer). Here they are-

-women who are bad in bed are called "starfish" because they just lay there
-there´s a phrase here that basically says if something is REALLY bad, it´s like drinking "dicks and vinegar".
-a term for a man who makes a sex change to a woman is called a "transformer".

more to come. can´t think, gotta run!
-me

University.

First day of teaching.

There is no word for "seashore" in spanish. weird.

Go read this:

Day V

DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO DEMO

Ask, and I will send it to you.

Day IV

January 18, 2010
Manzanares, Spain

“You are so profoundly sad.”
“You’re wrong. I’m grateful.”


There are songs in all of our playlists that are on our side.
I’m talking about the ones that helped you through the break ups and the ones that will always be there to help you remember the very very best times. They’re our best friends. And we ALL have them. Someone once told me that my song saved him from committing suicide. This was one of the greatest things that I could have been told in my life. Could MY music, from MY brain have saved someone else’s life?

Or maybe it’s not my music. Maybe it’s his, because that song is always there for him. Just like “Vampire”, “Tonight, Tonight”, “Sunshine on my Shoulders”, and “Family Tree” are on my side.

Last night Ricky and I went walking around the empty streets of Manzanales, looking for an internet connection so I could let my parents know that i’m still alive. When we got back, I had a glass of wine, and sat alone for a while in the main room of the apartment. “Family Tree” by Tv on the Radio came on. I remember thinking this moment-- being alone in spain with a familiar, friendly song on my side, will always be locked forever in my mind. The only noise from outside of the apartment was the local church bell ringing 4 times every 15 minutes.

How could I be so lucky?

Well, we drank, we listed off our personal goals for just about everything, we talked of friends, of lovers, of music, of memories between and apart, and just shot the shit. How could I be so lucky to have taken time off after school to go meet my friend in a secluded village in spain with the purpose of finishing my album?

I always say it, but you’re here with me, and I hope that I am there with you. You travel with me wherever I go. Sometimes I don’t even WANT you here, but you are. I know it gets cramped up there in my head, but I’ll try and make it as comfortable as i can. After all...

...we’ll be traveling for a while.

Day III

January 17, 2010
Manzanares, Spain

Rural Alberta Advantage

Dear Friend,

Oh Oh Oh, I’m really trying. Changed my heart into petrified wood. Want to know what I did yesterday? Well. I’ll tell you. But you have to know that you were with me while I was doing it. I mean you HAVE been traveling with me the whole time. Anywhere that I go, anything that i do you’re with me. So let’s cut the chase:
Yesterday I was PAGAN. Yes. Pagan. Let’s go through the check list of what I did within the first thirty minutes of the night:

Went to a HUGE fire celebration. In this they threw in chairs, doors, and other random wooden objects.
Rang a 500 year old bell
Drank PIG’S BLOOD
Got Drunk
ATE A STICK (It cost 1 euro)

Apparently every year the village that I live has this ceremony 3 times a year. All the while, the young girls are walking by, waving at Ricky. (obviously)
After the pagan festival, we went to Ciudad Real for the DISCOTECH! I met a girl named Ashley from Arlington who knows the same fucked up stories about the same people that I know. I won’t say it, but you can imagine how un-big the world is.
At the discotech, we danced to horrible music. Absolutely horrible. We call the music here “Cranked out”, because it sounds like it’s cranked out of the basic, stamped, producer bullshit machine that is used to make millions. Although the music isn’t anything to write home about (or i guess... obviously it is), we danced as hard as we could.

“Oh, you’re from Lithoania?”
“Oh you’re from Vermont? I hear it’s beautiful this time of year.”
“Oh you’re from Mexico?”

We arrived at 7 in the morning, and woke up at 4 pm. After waking up, we nursed what little bit of hangovers that were obtained from the night before. Another festival titled “Lord of the Beast”, was put on to honor St. Antone and the village pets. This began around 5 o clock RIGHT outside of our window. I recorded the marching band playing this hideously menacing death song. I suppose this song was to honor the pets, but it sounded utterly horrifying. Ricky made a suggestion to use it as a hook for this song that Grease and I were throwing around. How perfect would it be if i used the actual audio from the parade for my song?

ahhh... life,

-Andy

SPAIN

Day II

Manzanares, Spain

“Lover’s Spit”- Broken Social Scene
“Halfway Home”- Tv on the Radio

Dear Friend,
I woke up today in a warm bed in my best friend’s apartment in Spain. Yesterday, shortly after arriving in Madrid, I felt the dread that one experiences when they see how completely insignificant they are in the entire scheme of the universe. I. Felt. So. Small. Once going through “customs” (which was just 4 police officers glancing at me), I walked through the gate to go out and meet Ricky. He was no where to be found.

I stuck by the girls that I had made friends with on the plane. They were studying abroad, liked LOST, and were equally as giddy as I was. Oh yeah- they also spoke Spanish. This is a talent that, unfortunately, I lack. I hung out with them for a good 15 minutes, when I was sending them off to a good semester, and looking forward at my situation: No phone, No friend, NOT bilingual, No Cash.

No cash?

That’s what I’d take care of first. Initially, I went to the ATM and took out 110 Euros (I didn’t put a currency sign next to the number because I still don’t know how to do it). After being denied access to the internet, and telling a couple people that I did NOT want a phone card, I began to feel the tear ducts being irritated.

“No fucking way.”, I told myself, “If ever I will be brave, it will be right now.”

I walked towards the coffee shop to find more internet. My head held high, I felt the surge of energy come through me and I felt in control. I will do this.

Just as this realization came to me, I saw Ricky rushing around the corner. I dropped my things and we had a very long hug. Although I wish that he had been there sooner, the feeling of hopelessness in another country was something that I needed.
We went to Guernica first. I can’t really spend time describing all of the things that I saw in the museum right now, but it was this shot of inspiration that I haven’t experienced in such a long time. It was needed, it was beautiful, and it was with my best friend.

All of Ricky’s roommates are very very friendly and welcoming towards me. The one who Ricky said was an asshole at the start turned out to be a really great guy, and all of them have made me feel extremely welcome. I am blessed.


“Manza- hell hole. where all the dreams die. I return to you.” -Chopi


Mental Note: Return to song idea “I Will Wake Up”
Mental Note: Close with “I want you” by the beatles at an Eastern Sea show IN IT’S ENTIRETY


Bueno,
-Andy


Also!
http://gizmodo.com/5448657/inaked-application-for-iphone-could-bring-world-peace


Also (Also)!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezrvxYmSGNs

Collapsing Stars

I think that if i were mute, I would tattoo "yes" on my right hand, and "no" on my left.


I'm doodling on blank printer paper which songs we'll sing in the subways.


I smell like 101 proof and marlboro 27's.


I'm planning the character that i'll choose for plane ride. Should I be a sculptor?

2. Own my own business?
3. Work for "Tom" on myspace?
4. A writer of a very famous book?
5. Stephen King's son?
6. Jeffery Dahmer's nephew? (I guess that person wouldn't be very comfortable to sit next to for 9 hours on a plane)

I could be a fisherman (7), I could be a fireman (8), I could be a bartender (9), or an archeologist (10).
I could be a limo driver (11:11) or a scuba diver (12).

Or I could just be myself (lucky 13). My own character. He's comfortable.




I think that I'll sing some beatles in the subway.






George's songs, obviously.
-andy

Day VI

En Route to America


My Friend,

I’m sorry that I took my time in life. I’m sorry that I didn’t write yesterday. You would be proud of me though! My reasoning from not writing was because I was out doing things.

-Gillian
-November 18th
-Power snorkling
-Karaoke man
-Salt water swallowing
-Reef stings
-Hall Makeouts
-Mexico vs. U.S.A.
-Chug the Ketchup
-Swingers
-Haircuts
-DTF girl
-Wheelchair theft
-$1 shaker
-Break Dancing
-smoking outside of Jamaica on the deck
-Bar grinding guy
-smoking inside the bathroom en route to America
-Confessions of a Shopaholic
-Super choppy waves, everyone is drunk.
-You PEED in the ELEVATOR THREE TIMES?!?!?
-Brother brawl
-Blood Boil
-28 years of marriage
-Blues bar
-Kid throwing chess pieces at each other
-Dancing waiters
-midnight pizza


It’s the last day. 3:20 and I’m still hungover a bit. Should I get wasted tonight? I’m kind of afraid of it, but it’s the last day... I need to pay off the alcohol that I spent this week, but memories are priceless. Currently I am $3 under at the casino. This shouldn't be too difficult.

Sincerely yours,

Andy Lane

Day IV

*Note: mind dumping in an empty cafeteria. Free flow writing.*


The people that I love show up in the places that I go
It’s how I figure out who are my friends in my head
It’s how I figure out who I care about (truly)

Peter pan never took me to never land
And I grew up too fast

I felt your breath
I looked and I saw the wind

There’s a man putting away the plates
He doesn’t speak english the way that I do

I fell in love with a waitress, when I should have fallen in love with the girl at the table

There’s a man in America
He owes me money
There’s a man driving a taxi on an island
I gave him all of mine

2 of us, 15 should do
Get us to where we need to go
Oh Oh
There and back again

You keep showing up in my mind.

We keep going these places
You don’t have a say and I feel bad.
I take you where I need to
But sometimes I think that you might also want to

I fell in love with a waitress
She walks with me
I pretend that when she looks at me to see if i need anything
She’s actually looking at me because she found what she needed

I fell in love with a waitress on an ocean
She doesn’t know where I live
But she knows where we are
And I have no clue

No, no, it would never work
I think she’s french
I don’t want to move there

There’s no map
There’s no watch
There’s a different time zone
And people who point me in the right direction

I wonder if she likes sorting the salt?
I mean she works on a cruise ship.
But she sorts salt..

O-K I’m going to listen to this song one more time (12 in an hour). Then I’m going to go play lazer tag. Yes. I’m 23.

Day III

Monteco Bay, Jamaica


Dear Friend,

Jah man. I can’t tell if it’s overdone for the tourists, but they all say it. I bet that it’s overdone. It has to be. All the oldies get their kicks when people say it. Whatever on that.

So I went dune buggying. Or rather... I drove a dune buggy. (there we go) Imagine whatever you would think that driving one would seem like, then multiple that by a googolplex and that’s probably rounded down to the amount of fun it is. So. Fun.
The guy who was driving around with us is this lazy early 30’s gen. X guy living in jamaica. You can tell he smokes a shit load of pot, and makes jokes about having unknown children to cover up for his lack of play that he gets on the island. Regardless of his place in the world of getting ass, I think that he’s not doing too bad in the entire cosmic scheme of things. Think about it:

He lives in Jamaica.
He drives dune buggies through badass dirt trails all day.
He smokes a shit load of weed.

Not bad I’d say. When we got to the top of the mountain, he showed us around and told us about the plants that live on the island. It’s funny, but he told me of an herb that is seriously a hangover herb. (no, not weed) We’ve talked about this secret power of curing a hangover for years (...decades? no. surely not decades. i’m only 23). It’s funny that I had to go to Jamaica to find it. Sounds about right.
OKAY OKAY I’ll get to the point.

Hangover Recipe:
-Pepper alta
-1 tea kettle
-spoon full of brown sugar

*so it’s pretty simple. You just boil some water, put the plant in a mug, and make tea out of it just like you would with green tea.*

crazy huh? Okay, bye. i’m going to take a nap.


Sincerely yours,

-Andy

Day II

Ocean, ocean, ocean

Dear Friend,

Moral is low. Already? Already. I’ve noticed that i’m made fun of more when I am with my family than any one else that I am with. This. Is. Odd. I know that it comes across as me being overly-sensitive, but when you are living this close to family members for this large amount of time, you bleed your feelings and your heart is worn vulnerably on your sleeve. I confronted Dad about this. He feels bad, but it’s not him. It’s my older brother.

Reading “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”. It makes me feel envious for 9 year olds everywhere. I love this book. I love Grease. I also love Grease for telling me that I need to read this book.

I miss Scott Perry. I miss Justin Granger. I miss Andrew Mcgill. I think about Jeremi Mattern, but I don’t think that I miss him. Is that rude? Can one be rude in therapeutic journal letters? I think about Scott because I think about what he would do, then I miss him and wonder when I’ll see him again. I miss Justin because he would want me to DRINK A LOT. Is today sunday? No. It’s Tuesday. Maggie is gone. I will think about Justin and her today. They’re sad somewhere. I miss Andrew because I had duck for the second time last night. The first night was with him. I think about Jeremi because he went on a cruise and told me about it. My memory of his experience gives me advice on activities. I don’t think that I miss him because I never see him anyway.

I dream of Noelle still. But this past one she had braces. Did she ever have braces? Her teeth are nice.
I should embrace the people that I miss and see it as a reflection on who I should hang out with more.
Oh, I also miss Kevin Tomas. I think about him when I drink coffee.


It felt really good to write this for some reason.,

Andy

Day I

Halfway between Houston and Jamaica


Dear Friend,

Today is the first full day between us. The first day that I’ve been at sea. Last night I tested alcohol on a level that I haven’t experienced since long before the surgery. ...oh liquor. Although I know that I shouldn’t be drinking and the sting of the alcohol on my throat was pretty uncomfortable, I needed to force the fun on this trip. MUST! HAVE! FUN!

An old friend (kind of), Brent Elliot, is on the ship. He smuggled in about 6 handles of whiskey onto the boat. This is good news for Jimmy, seeing as he is only 20 years old. Speaking of Jimmy-- he impressed me last night. After our gambling escapades, and drinking with Brent, we went to the “singles party”. Oh what a horrible sounding thing. Well, we all walked in (fairly hammered, as that is the only way that we would attempt to do such a thing), and there was NO one on the dance floor. Jimmy spotted out these girls, finished his drink, and then attempted to talk to them. He was doing fairly well. Chris and I were impressed. I was impressed so much, that I decided to join in. There I met Jillian.

Jillian is from Arizona, but goes to college in Chicago at some unknown school. She is reading “The Other Side of the River”, she enjoys hip hop, is majoring in Psychology and Political Science, she laughed when I said my favorite band is The National, and she wants to go into social work as a career. We talked for about an hour and a half about her friends at home, my book, her sister, why she likes the strokes, the cruise, etc. Needless to say, she was pretty fun. I’ve been told that I would make a shit load of friends, and I guess this is my first one.

This is day one,

Andy

Tape the sound of the most encouraging thing that you can think to give yourself for 2010. Save it for the time of sorrow, if you face one in the next year. A message to yourself from when you are at a peak can be the most inspiring thing to hear in a time of need. It's far better than any encouraging advice that anyone else could ever give you.