another dream

I've had several very spiritual moments in my life where i felt completely connected to the universe and the creator. The one time that I often cite is when I was 6 years old and I laid on my driveway after doing sidewalk chalk and looked at the stars. I prayed that I would one day be a musician and play in bands for people across the world.

Last night I had a similar experience. After eating dinner, I went to hang out with Justin and Maggie so that I could spend as much time with her before she left. In the process I saw my friend, Hunter, who had just gotten back from France. Two beautiful birds in one stoney night. I came home and talked to Grease for a while. I went to sleep, but had this odd restless sensation overwhelm my body. I thought about that prayer that I made when i was 6. So I had this urge to just pray again. Like i did in the old times, ya know? So I laid there in bed. I looked out of my window in my completely alone apartment. And I prayed outloud. I confessed things that I've done and regretted, I confessed dreams bottled in, and I laid everything out. Although this seems pretty intense, it really only lasted 2 minutes.

Then I fell asleep instantly.


Here is what i dreamt:

We were all about to take a picture for your birthday.
it was at my grandparent’s old house.
We walked outside and you looked at me and gave me this long hug. When you finished hugging me, the bulls saw me.
you had a bull and a baby bull, they wanted to kill me, but they were being constrained by an old friend’s greyhound named Presta. *
There was a baby bull that was not constrained but would try and jump on me and kill me but was too weak to do so.
Once all of the girls gathered in the yard for the picture, I was still in the middle of the yard being stared down by the angry creatures.
Finally presta was too weak to hold the bull, and it came at me fast.
I was being chased around and around in the yard.
I was with someone who was close to me being chased, but I don’t know who it was.
And the bulls were definitely after me more than he. He was just afraid.
Finally I jumped over the fence and the bulls could not get me.
Your friends were waiting out in the front yard for me.
And we would gather our chairs and have a picture there.
Then I woke up.


*note: I think she’s dead in reality, but she was saving me in this dream.




Now I have no clue what this dream means. The bull could represent UT, Spain, or anything really. The fact that there is a small bull and a large bull could mean that it could represent choices, or even people that i'll meet there. The idea that I have someone helping me fight back these enemies, but that person is too weak frightens me. Fortunately I escape it in the end, and I come back to the party i guess.

This is all really frightening to wake up to.
-andy